SMS style

aku ni mat motor..

simple2 je...slalu racing kat higway kesas klu nampak tol benti jap kencing...klu minah tol chantek ak ngurat.kalu ada mamat cute jambu encem aku ngurat gak hahahaha ..suruh top up minyak...ak suka berkawan...dan ak ramai kawan.. klu ok aku fuck.. berkawan biar beribu berkasih biar ramai setia pada yg satu.

nak suruh aku dtg tempat korang kasi aku duit minyak........

aku suke berkawan,berkawan buat aku rasa x bosan.......
bila malam menjelma aku menjadi pemangsa yg mencari mangsa.....

aku paling benci org yg belagak bagus dan sombong................rasa nak je aku langar gan moto aku sampai mampus.....x pun aku hentak2 kepala dia gan helmet aku..........

* * *

UGLY MALAYSIANA COMMENT

The above passage was found on a friend-finder website, written by a lean tone gentleman in his early 20s who enjoys posing next to his Modenas scooter bearing a license plate that begins with a "B".

This form of "SMS style" Malay is unfortunately widely used online on forums and blogs. Short forms and symbols (x for "tak") are increasingly replacing full words — a very speedy and economical typing method for mobile phone messaging but it is never a proud moment when I see it used in more serious paragraphs of text, for example, in political blog comments, or in the 'About Me' sections of friend-finder websites.

This form of writing also makes passages such as the above quite illegible to Malaysians who are not eloquent or well versed in Malay, especially so with its colloquial, spoken word form. Many Ah Lians or Ah Bengs will find it hard to grasp the essence of the Mat Motor's self introduction as they never really have had much exposure to Malay television dramas.

Therefore, a translation is provided below.

 

TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH

It's quite simple… 

I am always racing along the KESAS highway. If I see a toll booth, I will stop to urinate briefly. If a toll booth girl is cute, I'll flirt. If there's a young virginal handsome guy, I'll also flirt, haha.

I'll ask them to top up my fuel. 

I love to make friends. And I have a lot of friends. I'm OK with fucking… Let there be thousands of friends, and a lot of loving, but let me be faithful to only one person. 

If you want me to come to your place, compensate me with some fuel money.

   
I love to make friends. It relieves my boredom. When nighttime arises, I will be the prey that is looking for prey.

I most hate those who are arrogant. I feel like I want to crash into them with my motorcycle until they die. If not, I will also like to use my helmet to bash their heads. THE END

Happy Valentines Day

IN MYDIN, EACH DAY IS VALENTINES DAY....

Auspicious 2012

MAAF, 

SIARAN TERGENDALA 

@ UGLY MALAYSIA.

The Author has been very busy trying to upkeep Things in his new residence, that of which is filled with a fine balance of good [honey, eggs] and bad taste [leftover Chinese New Year keropok ubi].

And with red being the auspicious colour of the season, the below graphic is a rightful start to hopefully a new wonderfully gaudy season.

It is greatly recommended that the readers of this useless design journal practice, with ease, the word printed boldly below. Terimalah kasih saya yang semakin memuncak.

Lovely Comment

lancau lu tau apa pasat cinta? 

lu pigi langgar tol, 

langgar orang, langgar lori!

- Anonymous reader of UGLY MALAYSIANA

Video series about the ugly (endearing?) side of Malaysians

Overheard at a dining table

"The craft is all gone"

- Pete Teo, Singer-songwriter, activist, filmmaker

Conversations about Quality of Life in Malaysia

Kenny (not his real name) says:

i should find freinds to do more outdoor activities

i stay indoors too much

and lately always feeling tired

i need to go to places with more trees

but yet in UK i never felt to tired that often

felt so* tired

my group of friends is starting to get boring

everytime go out is either movie or dinner

thats all

UGLY MALAYSIANA say:

maybe try to find new itineraries ?

Kenny says:

suggestions?

UGLY MALAYSIANA say:

if you want trees.. maybe go picnic somewhere in a nice-ish park...??

i know our parks here not like UK parks lor but can be possible.. berkelah... bukit belacan/

?

Kenny says:

need to find friends to do that lor

my friends all the shopping mall type not the nature type

hence my urgent need for new friends

im starting to feel like a black sheep

since i came back from UK

i feel so integrated in UK, over here ppl's interests are just so different

and mundane

UGLY MALAYSIANA say:

how was it there.. what would you do to spend time?

dont your friends get bored with malls??!

Kenny says:

al fresco dining, parks, music events, picnics, walk to the country side, botanical gardens

basically i can just get a ticket hop onto a train and sit till the last station and just wander around that area until im satisfied

UGLY MALAYSIANA say:

many possibilities

Kenny says:

over here, last trains station is kelana jaya and gombak!? =.="

and out parks sucks

we dont have public open spaces to do people watching

when i people watch here, ppl stare at me one kind, so perasan

UGLY MALAYSIANA says:

so different hor

Kenny says:

i hate it

i know

sg has more outdoorsy activities to do than here

UGLY MALAYSIANA say:

yes got more sun kissed hunks oso for sightseeing

Kenny says:

our parks here all filled with people just walking just for teh sake of walking

anyway time to go home

ttyl

muacks

Guest Post: "New ticket system; same shite."

"Best part is, you can't top up touch n gone at the new machines, you have to que with the rakyat to get it topped up since the dedicated touch n gone top up machines don't usually work."

IN COMPARISON IS AN IMAGE TAKEN

IN THE BRAS BASAH MRT STATION IN SINGAPORE, MAY 2011:

 

SPECIAL GUEST POST by Azrul Kevin Abdullah, photographer.

Guest Post from an esteemed Asian Public Intellectual (posh exclusive coverage from Japan)

UGLY MALAYSIANA WORTHY STORY,

AS TOLD BY THE ARTIST CHI TOO.

Recent events in my motherland has prompted me to register as an overseas voter, so I cycled all the way to Shibuya to my country's embassy... 

... only to be confronted with this.

Akhirnya, kutemui cinta-mu... THUMBS UP!

VULGAR!

Guts, intestines, photoshop bevels, lots of Arial, and maybe Trajan, for that cinemetique effect. Plus a dubious VVVVVVVVVVVVVIP.