April 07, 2012

Email to the author of this blog


"...I had to leave Malaysia in a total disgust with the government and the bureaucratic system.

I like your website "uglymalaysia" . Truly speaks about Malaysia. I have lived there for 5 1/2 years and would not recommend to any one even for a vacation. The TV commercial that they show about " Malaysia Truly Asia" is a total trap."

— Anonymous reader. Ugly Malaysiana thanks you for your feedback.

April 02, 2012

Trashy "Girl Of The Month"

Trashy cover model, lazy photoshopping, horrid logo. Nice, full, round speakers?

March 16, 2012

It's the weekend, let's party

IDEAS FOR THE WEEKEND!

Explore the sensual, audible world of Pinoy Lounge Girls playing Tina Turner's Simply The Best. Sexy...

OR

Why not simply go to a shopping mall, kick back, not read, and just rilek beb... Ahhhh.

IDEA NUMBER THREE IS THE MOST HOLISTIC OF ALL.

PAMPER YOURSELF. PUT ON MAKE-UP. TRANSFORM. BE THE FIRST LADY YOU ARE.
UGLY MALAYSIANA WISHES YOU A HAPPY MID-MARCH 2012... 
MAY YR DREAMS ALWAYS KOM TRU.  


DUN 4GET, 1MALAYSIA YO.

Imagine...


Imagine all these billboards disappearing, dissolved into the verdant backdrop, leaving behind a sight not unlike a Singaporean highway vista. No more caucasian models in stock photos probably downloaded from Google Images, not purchased. No more wasting electricity to power the spotlights that will shine on strangely unconscious anti-design typography.

Imagine your drive through Petaling Jaya peaceful for once without such tacky distractions. It wouldn't be the same anymore, as you contemplate the shape of branches on the trees while waiting for the traffic to move, for the red to become green. Traffic jam minutes of contemplating on the nature of fractals in ferns rather than what you would buy at a home fair, or a travel fair, or in a fashion outlet.

We may be more human. Or what about billboards with Yoko Ono-esque messages on them, a hugely worded phrase, or some instructions printed blandly on a solid colour. That might be something nice.


March 14, 2012

Terrible low cost flat life in SS13 Subang Jaya

 Shady silhouettes against a vanilla sky, swaying gently in the cool evening breeze.
What's not to love?

MAYBE THE SIGHT AT THE FOOT OF THESE TREES 
i.e. THE SIGHT BELOW
IS WHAT YOU WOULD NOT LOVE:

 
Piles upon piles of trash, compressed over time, a habitat for rats as big as kittens — animals who do not fear the lazy cats of SS13, and who feed on toxic waste, including the rubber/plastic tubing in cars. Yuck...

  The stench of SS13 pasar malam leftovers (fishy smells, decaying fruits, etc). Plus rubbish flung randomly by the residents of the flats (many of whom are immigrants, their post-factory lives condensed into a 500 sq ft unit with about five others).

 Up close, the presence of loan sharks still very much intact. 


UGLY MALAYSIANA is disgusted that there are people in Subang Jaya (including UGLY MALAYSIANA'S VERY OWN PARENTS) and many other LOW COST FLATS living with such poor conditions. Poor hygiene, poor fumes, poor sight for our already sore eyes. Poor poor people! 

U.M. urges the city councils to do something about this mess. Tar up the horrible dirt roads that trap water and form toxic murky puddles that breed bacteria and flies. Even stray cats deserve cleaner water to drink from. Have a better trash-collecting system. Things can be low cost but decently done, not in this state of disregard.

Just because the SS13 flats are unoccupied by datins and important people who have power to raise issues does not mean that the current population of SS13 (and other low cost flat areas) have to suffer such appalling states of being. It is 2012 and it still looks like a war zone, tainted by neglect. 1Malaysia, where r u? This looks like the side of Malaysia that is tucked away because it is too ugly. It's hidden and rotting away, rotting the spirits of those who live there.

Dear Mr. Prime Minister, you spend RM80 million on a birthday bash. What about spending just a fraction of that to improve the daily sights (and therefore lives) of the tens of thousands of poor Malaysians affected by this malaise?


February 24, 2012

Tea Time Comparison

Comparison of biscuit carton designs 
between
ASTANA DELIGHTS 
(OFF JALAN KAMPUNG ATAP, KUALA LUMPUR) 
and 
CRABTREE & EVELYN 
(SOMEWHERE IN THE UK).

Need I point out which is on the left and which is on the right?

February 21, 2012

Blood-shot Snow White

SPOTTED IN PLAZA DAMAS, SRI HARTAMAS. A CARPET SHOP, 
SELLING RATHER MACABRE FLOOR MATS, SUCH AS THIS ONE.

EYES BLOODY, LIPS RATHER STAINED BLOOD-RED TOO, SNOW WHITE GIVES THE PRINCE A BEGUILING BUT BONE CHILLING STARE BEFORE THE PERFECT KISS THAT ENDS EVERYTHING.

February 20, 2012

Pasar Pagi Fashion Wisdom

 SPOTTED: TEEN WISDOM IN A MARKET IN RAWANG.

 
PRETTY GIRLS LIKE THE DELICIOUS APPLE

 I AM THE REASON WHY BOYS GO WILD

LIFE IS EASY WHEN YOURE GOOD LOOKING LIKE ME

Luxury property next to a fake blue river from Mayland Properties

Ah, an artist's rendering of a luxury condo, from an aerial vantage point.
May we recommend that you ignore the Purple Times New Roman and focus on the lovely blue-tinted river winding gently through the landscape.

A clean river as blue as the waters of Cherating in the middle of Kuala Lumpur? 

Of course it is an impossibility! It is doctored: notice how the river becomes a turdy brown on the left... and the unnatural blueness on the right, only cut off by the amount of trees (too hard to Photoshop beb)...
 
 In reality, rivers are never as azure blue... even if there are no clouds in the sky... thankfully so. A teh tarik colour, perhaps. Without rubbish please — that's all we ask for... 

February 19, 2012

Portrait of the author of U.M.

A self portrait of the author of UGLY MALAYSIANA, 
taken in his humble little car... innocent and sweet as ever...