Malaysians, R U READY?

OR R U ANGRY?

Selamat pagi Malaysia

Hello! Good morning Malaysia. Wake up, it's a chilled morning. Sparrows are chirping. Make yourself a delish Asian breakfast consisting of mostly carbs, sugar and oil.

If you prefer, eat outside, bistro style, just like in the picture. By cincai-parked vehicles. The sight is not too photogenic as you can see, road side food liddat I suppose in this part of the world.

Car lined avenues, not tree lined... A bed of motorcycles, no flowers in little concrete planters. No fancy awnings or 'quaint' café atmosphere beb. No tinkling piano music shit. Just simple, casual and a bit precarious – the fumes of vehicles and passive smoke. The smell of exasperation as drivers search desperately for a parking spot. Ala, double park only lor, leave your number on the dashboard.

Yes, we understand, very fast, fingers crossed: no polis saman, no car want to get out. Only 10 minutes to tapau RM7 siewyook rice, if the queue not that long. It used to be RM6.50 a week ago. I'll listen attentively, in case got honking...

Nu Sentral Malaysia

Ugly Malaysia Day
is when Sabah/Sarawak
is represented smaller
in an overall map of Malaysia...

Highlighting the Peninsular...
For what reason ah???
Bukankah kito 1Malayshia!

(SABAH-SARAWAK, where one can find the true 'East Coast' of Malaysia, GUE MOHON MAAF OK?)

Scale project ni beso giler tapi ratio salah, betui tak! Dear readers, dun make this ratio mistake when you dasain your next pesta sukan poster ataupoon styrofom cutouts for the pink office wall... Janji yer... Ah...

Luv U.M.

This unfortunate instance was spotted recently by UGLY MALAYSIANA in the new Nu Sentral shopping mall.

WAWASAN 2020

You think we can proceed to wawasan lua poloh lua liddis?

See people smoking near anti smoking signs, smoking while walking in opis wear...

Not queuing, not queuing when the sign says 'Q', tak faham ko lu?

Then on the train everybody rushing in... Pushing each other, they scared of the long wait coz nobody wants to wait blindly for the next KTM coz there's no time table.

The cheap digital screens that should have been displaying information sudah dipadamkan, black black like the faces of commuters.

Only Najib's face plastered all over grinning, tagline about how the government wants only the very best for the rakyat, us. In the shadows coz the light bulbs are rosak.

Us, the people who don't want to drive because your roads are clogged up with ill planning and rude drivers who scream racist slurs even when they didn't see the asshole cutting their overpriced car.

And back in the train, nobody gives a damn about the old guy or the elderly woman coz they're fucking tired themselves, the signages to be a responsible citizen of Malaysia is not payed attention to. Nobody reads anyway.

No graciousness left isit? Why so selfish, Malaysians? Don't they, our authorities, see this happening? What's supposed to happen for 2020?

Poetry session

POETRY SESSION BY UGLY MALAYSIANA

BASED ON THE THEME OF "HOPE". 

I HOPE

WE HV MORE RESPECT LESS ASS ATTACK

WE ONLY WANT 1 (MALAISE)

LUV, FROM MY PINK LABBIT HEART

— COLLABORATIVE FASHION POETRY —

by the authors:
BN Colour POLO shirt, feathery blouse, typo blouse, cutie comic sans T. 

GUEST POST - Independence Day - Glow

57 years of independence

means freedom to use at least 

six typefaces 

in one ad.

- from ipfrsch, a friend of UGLY MALAYSIANA

LETTER FROM A LOVELY READER

Just now, my partner told me how he found your blog... he was driving around kl looking for sweet spots to take photos and when he found some, he tried to sets up his camera and no matter where he focus - there is always a lamppost or trashcan that gets in the way. He got home frustrated and typed in, Malaysia, Ugly in his browser, and thus found your blog!

— AMANDA

~ *~ *~ *~

RESPONSE FROM UGLY MALAYSIANA

Thank you very much for the story about your partner and his delightful discovery of UGLY MALAYSIANA. Lampaposts or trashycans are not that bad, they can be instagrammy friendly if they are macam PARIS lamp post, very romantic, especially for you, a couple... you can be model, prancing around in BURBERRY cold-weatherwear. Like singing in the rain gitew. BUT INDEED, THINGS CAN BE UGLIER HERE, with lampposts full of AH LONG STICKERS, perhaps one hung with a ADULT TOY banner too, printed on some tarpauline from KEDAI BIKIN BUNTING TAMAN PERMATA CHERAS/SG WAY NEW VILLAGE.

Hey dood - FAN MAIL

hey dood i really like ur ugly malaysiana series. depicts how i feel about how fucking ugly malaysians choose to be about spaces and architecture. the old architecture is beautiful, it was the architecture in the 80s post modern era and now thats fuck it up rambling

BORING TEXT ONLY VERSION

hey dood
i really like ur ugly malaysiana series.
depicts how i feel about how fucking ugly malaysians choose to be

about spaces and architecture.

 the old architecture is beautiful,
it was the architecture in the 80s post modern era
and now thats fuck it up

 rambling



- THANK YOU, FAITHFUL FAN, AND FRIEND -

Good morning kitty

Hello, UGLY MALAYSIANA reporting from KTM station Subang Jaya. Weather is sunny, temperature is mild with the occasional passive smoke from commuters who don't obey No Smoking signs.

A cat is playing with one of the attendants here, as pictured. A police siren could be heard, but it does not signify that help is on its way for victims of a crime. The noise belongs to outriders, helping your friendly MP or Vee-i-Pee weave through the Federal Highway, making their morning drive a joyride (compared to the rest, a jamride) as if they are still in their favourite first-world foreign holiday destination: roads clear, young leaves fluttering sweetly on So-and-so Avenue in a nonchalant spring breeze.

Sama-sama menjejak mimpi

This is the flat where my parents stay. It's under Pakatan Rakyat. Or is it under the Majlis Perbandaran? Which is under what actually?

It is still unsightly after so long, after changes, elections, droughts, monsoons.

Sometimes when the wind is strong, I don't smell anything pleasing. I smell this heap of hopelessness, tidak apaness, things compositing, decaying. Lives decaying.

Letters were written, phone calls made. I even posted this problem on UGLY MALAYSIANA. Nothing has changed.

My parents are older. It's hard for them to move out to anywhere better. Things are really expensive. Why can't they manage the rubbish dump more properly? Tar the roads. Get rid of the rat colonies. Somehow.

I pun feel hopeless. But the lady in their 80s, the Opah, she doesn't really mind maybe. Teaching the Quran, chilling out in her 400 sq ft unit in this SS13. Unlucky number 13? The rest of Subang isn't this way. This Opah and my parents deserves what the SS19 datins are offered in their sections. Oh well, it doesn't work out that way hor.

The more things change, the more things feel the same.