Selamat pagi Malaysia

Hello! Good morning Malaysia. Wake up, it's a chilled morning. Sparrows are chirping. Make yourself a delish Asian breakfast consisting of mostly carbs, sugar and oil.

If you prefer, eat outside, bistro style, just like in the picture. By cincai-parked vehicles. The sight is not too photogenic as you can see, road side food liddat I suppose in this part of the world.

Car lined avenues, not tree lined... A bed of motorcycles, no flowers in little concrete planters. No fancy awnings or 'quaint' café atmosphere beb. No tinkling piano music shit. Just simple, casual and a bit precarious – the fumes of vehicles and passive smoke. The smell of exasperation as drivers search desperately for a parking spot. Ala, double park only lor, leave your number on the dashboard.

Yes, we understand, very fast, fingers crossed: no polis saman, no car want to get out. Only 10 minutes to tapau RM7 siewyook rice, if the queue not that long. It used to be RM6.50 a week ago. I'll listen attentively, in case got honking...

Get massage den later can go eat bean sprout chicken rice

YET ANOTHER KOTA DAMANSARA POST.

(the scene does not look appetising, does it?)

DO U WANT 2 B GREASY WITH D'TOUCH MASSAGE OIL,

OR GREASY WITH BEAN SPROUT CHICKEN RICE OIL?

CHANCES ARE, THE MASSEUR AND THE CHICKEN RICE CHEF

WOULD PROBABLY BE AN IMMIGRANT.

S/HE WOULD GET PAID VERY LITTLE (BUT PERHAPS A BIT MORE THAN THE MALAYSIAN MINIMUM WAGE OF RM700).

S/HE WOULDN'T HAVE VERY GOOD STANDARDS OF LIVING, ARE VICTIMS OF CORRUPTION, ARE CONSTANTLY HARASSED, AND ARE UNHAPPY.

THUS IN TURN, THEY PRODUCE 

SHITTY HAWKER FOOD, 

VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE HAWKER FOOD STANDARDS

THAT SOME MALAYSIANS

ARE SO USED TO, 

AND SO WE BITCH ABOUT THEM, AND IT NEVER ENDS.

Tea Time Comparison

Comparison of biscuit carton designs 

between

ASTANA DELIGHTS 

(OFF JALAN KAMPUNG ATAP, KUALA LUMPUR) 

and 

CRABTREE & EVELYN 

(SOMEWHERE IN THE UK).

Need I point out which is on the left and which is on the right?

Breakfast Comparison~

1MALAYSIA BREAKFAST (picture courtesy of http://hausofhamed.files.wordpress.com)

(NOTICE ALL THE DIFFERENT FONTS!!!!!!!! SO UNAPPETISING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

VS

1 CONSISTENT LOOK BREAKFAST

Muscle Mary

RE: A particular gay sub group defined by it's overdeveloped muscular physiques. As a group they can be exceptionally camp and effeminate.

Ramadhan dah nak berakhir...

 Upin (or Ipin?) floating on a strange fetus-head shaped cloud of kurma...

 Packets of ? from a Ramadhan Bazaar in TTDI. Takut mak....

LOVELY LACE: sentimental fairy-lights-lit book covers with cool-white simili paper. 

Aduhai sayang... marilah beramai-ramai menantikan long weekend Rayadeka 2011 ni... 

Tak payah jugak menunggu hujan ya beb, skarong ni selalunya basah pun... suka mak, malam2 boleh tidur lena sebab cuaca cool macam ada airkon...

SUPPER

A typical hawker centre in Malaysia. Most of the stores above feature food made by very-low-paid immigrants from Myanmar (sometimes Indonesians too, even if the place is porky). Food hygiene is questionable. The grounds are wet with oily puddles, rats and cockroaches scurry along — nobody cares. Loan shark stickers stuck on every public surface imaginable, cool-white fluorescent tubes illuminate signs for Bak Kut Teh or Penang Char Kway Teow, the toilets could almost look like that one in Trainspotting. Everything utilitarian. Cheapest ingredients to maximise profits. Melamine in pastel colours, marked with indian ink to denote identity. Touch your coins, touch your satay stick. Thumbs in your bowl of Laksa. Greasy faces, tired from working 10 hours a day, washing bulk vegetables in the morning, washing dishes squatting next to the drain at night.

Disappointing Salad

 

 This is a salad from Secret Recipe, purchased for a vegetarian coworker who could not take the KFC the company was providing. 

This salad consists of approximately 8 slices of cucumber and 4 slices of tomato on a bed of commonly used lettuce. 

There was a fourth ingredient: onions — but my coworker is a hardcore 'spiritual vegetarian' lor and onions would be bad as it is a 'stimulant', so it was omitted from this Secret Recipe salad.

The dressing for the salad came in a separate plastic tub (not pictured) and consists of a thousand island sauce.

I have just uncovered the recipe to this disappointing salad, and I propose the name of the said establishment to be changed to "Lazy Recipe". There is no secret to this wholly insipid creation.

Overdue Hari Raya Bazaar pos

Popia Jati Nadia with "feminine flourishes", next to a friend who does not adhere to socially constructed norms of how a girl is supposed to look~*~*~*

Kan elok kalau ni bersebelahan kelab dan restoran "Marketplace"? (Nota: Golongan songsang yang hanya akan tau "insider joke" ini...)

Hari Raya Surprise for the Pink-fan girl sleeping soundly... :(

"Mak OK jer..." — ;) + Feminine flourishes.

 You Tiup Soya!

FUDGE ZONE WAFFLE STALL

COUNT HOW MANY PHOTOSHOP EFFECTS THERE ARE IN THE ABOVE PHOTO. This is called Free-Spirited Design!

 

The author in comfortable clothes for an express bus, giving a thumbs-up in advance to the rather lonesome FUDGE ZONE establishment located somewhere along the North-South Highway. He was very happy with his purchase of the chocolate/butter waffle, even though it was a tad soggy. But he blames the soggyness on it (the waffle) being in the plastic bag for a tad too long! Photographed by famous Malaysian artist [NAME RETRACTED].