GUEST POST - Independence Day - Glow

57 years of independence

means freedom to use at least 

six typefaces 

in one ad.

- from ipfrsch, a friend of UGLY MALAYSIANA

Good?

1. Amanda Chong Poh Kam sometimes has to go to a printer for work. 
2. The place is made up of Indian workers and other migrants from Indonesia, etc. 
3. Recently, Amanda spotted the above image of AH JIB KOR on the wall of the printer. 
4. UGLY MALAYSIANA urges you dear reader to scrutinise the handwriting on it.
5. DO U THINK 1MALAYSIA IS GOOD? 

Poster Filem dari Interlog Malaysia, bukannya Interlock ya...

Pilem terbaharu darik INTERLOG (bukan Interlock) Malaysia Sdn Bhd... 

Ewah, girl, cerah sakali ya skin kalar mu...  puteh berseri semacam tanktop mu. Ooo padan sakali dengan jam tangan boypren mu... 

Black on white... like the stripes on the boypren's shirt...  white on black.... so on and so forth. 

DON'T MISS IT BRO................

Note: The janggut got softer edge..... a sensitive touch from the designer of this banner.

Doctored photo

UGLY MALAYSIA's doctored image of a doctored image.

VERY UGLY BEHAVIOUR. 

HOPE UOLS NJOI YR WEEKEND.

Trashy "Girl Of The Month"

Trashy cover model, lazy photoshopping, horrid logo. Nice, full, round speakers?

Luxury property next to a fake blue river from Mayland Properties

Ah, an artist's rendering of a luxury condo, from an aerial vantage point.

May we recommend that you ignore the Purple Times New Roman and focus on the lovely blue-tinted river winding gently through the landscape.

A clean river as blue as the waters of Cherating in the middle of Kuala Lumpur? 

Of course it is an impossibility! It is doctored: notice how the river becomes a turdy brown on the left... and the unnatural blueness on the right, only cut off by the amount of trees (too hard to Photoshop beb)...

 

 In reality, rivers are never as azure blue... even if there are no clouds in the sky... thankfully so. A teh tarik colour, perhaps. Without rubbish please — that's all we ask for... 

Akhirnya, kutemui cinta-mu... THUMBS UP!

VULGAR!

Guts, intestines, photoshop bevels, lots of Arial, and maybe Trajan, for that cinemetique effect. Plus a dubious VVVVVVVVVVVVVIP.

Muscle Mary

RE: A particular gay sub group defined by it's overdeveloped muscular physiques. As a group they can be exceptionally camp and effeminate.

A guide to 'huat chai'

I have no idea what people call this 'book'. It's like a reference book when you want to try your luck in 4d, 3d, toto, e.t.c.

(middle) You have like past years results for all the winning numbers, by year and dates. See,it's really informative huh

(right) Each little column of pictures comes with different numbers. Usually when people had dreams or see something happen (for example, car accident). Then you can seek for the objects/situations in this section. They have really wide range of compilations, from penis...to something like "go to the beach".

Salam Syawal from Ugly Malaysiana

Ramadhan dah nak berakhir...

 Upin (or Ipin?) floating on a strange fetus-head shaped cloud of kurma...

 Packets of ? from a Ramadhan Bazaar in TTDI. Takut mak....

LOVELY LACE: sentimental fairy-lights-lit book covers with cool-white simili paper. 

Aduhai sayang... marilah beramai-ramai menantikan long weekend Rayadeka 2011 ni... 

Tak payah jugak menunggu hujan ya beb, skarong ni selalunya basah pun... suka mak, malam2 boleh tidur lena sebab cuaca cool macam ada airkon...

AsSEmbLy pOInT

Subversive display at the basement of Tescos Mutiara Damansara. I'm sure they would have used yellow ink to fill up the Spongebob pictures. Or not? Plus WriTiNG LiKE diS, doesn't it bring you back to the good old days of highschool farewells, where everybody would write "GoOD LuCk fReNz 4eVeR" with pearly, glittery, matt pink ink, in a commemorative DIY 'yearbook/scrapbook' made out of black paper*? NoSTaLGiA...................~~*~*~*~*

* Only applies to the 80s child, when highschool completed around the turn of the millennium. Writing with matt ink on black paper was de rigueur, so were drawings like "fishbones" on signatures -- very beach-themed. The author of UGLY MALAYSIANA is not familiar with the highschool writing style trends of today's youth. Do they even write at all? Do they just tap words into a Facebook Class-of-2011 group? I shall never know... I am aged and less in tune now...

SPECIAL REPORT: Ugly Headlines for June 25, 2011

The Ugly Headlines on all major newspaper front pages are meant to defame Anwar Ibrahim. 

Here is BERITA HARIAN's frontpage for June 25, 2011. So lucah, so berbanyak seks. This trio was charged and was fined a few thousand ringgit each for distributing pornography. As you can see, they are probably feeling unashamed, with some rather bright smiles even, as a thousand ringgit (or two) in fines is equivalent to the tiny heartbreak of a RM10.50 parking ticket fee in KLCC for most Malaysian like you and me. Takpelah... asalkan ada justis... ? Because it is clear that distributing porn to the media and sneaking spy cameras into hotel rooms - all in the spirit of ruining someone's life and wasting the country's time and reputation - is a lot less worst than having extramarital seks kan?

The triumphant trio again (notice their heads are not covered by stretched T-shirts or the nook of an arm, unlike 'shameful prostitutes'.) UTUSAN MALAYSIA takes a more subtle approach to the case with actually a very pretty font.

SINAR HARIAN says, MEMANG ANWAR. Could you really confirm that it is MEMANG ANWAR, if there is still a 0.01% inkling of doubt? MEMANG, tapi tak boleh konfim kot... eh apa ni...

99.99% seiras Anwar dalam KOSMO. When was the last time such vile words were used so prominently on the front page? Indeed, too many times before - all related to the illustrious sexual journeys of one Mr Ibrahim. And perhaps Chua Soi Lek. Poor things...

The Star reports 'It is Anwar'.

Suddenly the views of foreign experts are relevant again? What about the 'foreign expert' claim that Teoh Beng Hock was strangled before his fall?

HARIAN METRO apparently does not care much about political circumstances, however filthy as it may seem. But it still is highly concerned about manners relating to sex and the male/female libido, as the above evidence suggests, taken on the same day as the others above it. Same same kan topik?

- END OF SPECIAL REPORT -

NOTES:

1. Regrettably, Chinese and Indian language newspapers

are not covered in this SPECIAL REPORT. 

2. The New Straits Times' front page

was so dull, UGLY MALAYSIANA

has decided against its reproduction here,

for the benefit of the esteemed readers.

Umbrella and lips have nearly identical shape

Romance novelas... bittersweet...

Cabaran hebat: Front pages of two June 15th 2011 newspapers that are different but all the same

 

Kejantanan tercabar

"2 peserta lelaki cabar chef wanita" (note: top left corner)

Lovely coincidences on the front page of Harian Metro and something else... (Not Utusan Melayu ya, that one layout too moden ala-ala Guardian newspaper EWW KAY (UK) gitewwww...)

ANOTHER COINCIDENCE:
THE WHITE AND YELLOW HEADLINES. Amazing!

RANT FROM A GRAPHIC DESIGNER FRIEND ABOUT THE STAGNANT MINDS OF MALAYSIAN PUBLISHERS

then i say, why must always use stock?

then they say they tried illustration before and the bosses didn't like them cos they looked 'childish'

i've heard a lot of people comment that illustrated treatment can look childish
but look at japan
so many illustrated stuff
and not just 1 style
here, they're afraid to take chances
and they're always maintaining the status quo..
oh, it won't work with our audience
it's crap lor
if publishers don't take chances, the audience will never accept anything that's different
the quality is always stagnant
cannot grow
one vicious cycle
publishers don't have guts, audience swallow crap and crap sells
and because crap sells, publishers won't take chances
how to advance?
how to grow with 'soft skill'???
this is an epidemic in malaysia lor
so many publishers in this country are just feeding the problem

GUEST POST BY MS. DILL MALIK

"purple, green, red. EYEW BUTA COLOUR KE"

JUXTAPOSITION

INTERESTING.

NOTICE ALL THE DROP SHADOWS IN THE MASTHEAD

AND THE WARM RED AND CREAMY TONES ALL OVER...

INTERLOCK x LALANG

~ k a r y a   s a s t e r a w a n   n e g a r a ~

The controversial INTERLOCK, set against a backdrop of Lalang dan lain lain spesis weeds... with paper printed on almost-nearly-off-white... 

Our ancestors hover above us as transparencies and Photoshop layers...

Deko Bersama Eric

 

Seems like the shop assistant is not a fan of Eric Leong?

ERIC LEONG'S:

FACE? (nothing particularly offensive to me)

MOUTH? (tips to make your home look Datin-friendly)

IDEAS? (less is more = IKEA+Fella Design look like a TVB drama set)

But it is still disrespectful to tampal the price tag on the face kan? At least tampal-lah on the extra "R" in the masthead. Is this magazine supposed to be pronounced with a rolling "R"?

RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrenovationz with Eric................

U ingat ni Riot Grrrl pronounced in Italian accent ah?