Malaysians, R U READY?

OR R U ANGRY?

GUEST POST - Independence Day - Glow

57 years of independence

means freedom to use at least 

six typefaces 

in one ad.

- from ipfrsch, a friend of UGLY MALAYSIANA

Good morning kitty

Hello, UGLY MALAYSIANA reporting from KTM station Subang Jaya. Weather is sunny, temperature is mild with the occasional passive smoke from commuters who don't obey No Smoking signs.

A cat is playing with one of the attendants here, as pictured. A police siren could be heard, but it does not signify that help is on its way for victims of a crime. The noise belongs to outriders, helping your friendly MP or Vee-i-Pee weave through the Federal Highway, making their morning drive a joyride (compared to the rest, a jamride) as if they are still in their favourite first-world foreign holiday destination: roads clear, young leaves fluttering sweetly on So-and-so Avenue in a nonchalant spring breeze.

What's Ugly?

STUPID

HUMANS

RUNNING

/

RUINING

OUR

LIVES

Making us

The Laughing Stock

of the world.

Marilah mengambil KTM bersama-sama ^_^

How wonderful it is to not drive and be able to experience our beloved LuV-hAtë city with public transport. Here is an example of what the government has given me, a typical citizen who drives non-luxury vehicle most of the time stuck in traffic, especially on the Federal Highway around 5pm (and shockingly, on a highway, SPRINT, etc)...

In KTM KL Sentral (Malaysia's main transportation hub!), some of the sights of publik transport boleh dijumpa, seperti berikut!



First, u can buy tickets easily ..... most people queue up for tickets but u can oso buy it yrself, BUT a lot of things u need to pay attention to, like they cannot accept new notes that have been out for A FEW YEARS.....



Oh the buttons are so worn out and disgusting, but takper, selamba, boleh fungsi. IF U DUN LIKE IT, U CAN MOVE BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY, CINA KE, INDIA KE.....

(Alternatively, u can also queue up with 90% of the other passengers yang nak pi ambik tren, and this is like human traffic jam BUT IT's BETTER THAN CAR TRAFFIC JAM NO?)




For the person living in the fast lane, Touch 'n' Go is oso OK...... notice the quality of the build on these things....................... HRMMMMMMMMMM. sticker yang cellutaped over steel.... mak ok jer.

In Malaysia, time is of no importance because we very RILEK that way, takper lah, tak kisah ya lambat ke tidak, they will wait for me ^_^......... got phrase we famous for, "Malaysian timing". 

In KL Sentral KTM, as seen in the picture above, time does not exist! No nid to be so effisyen la bro, we not like Japan (even though Mahathir ask us to "look east"). We dun have to even LOOK at the time la bro, the display takda functioning! Rilek jer......

(In Japan, the tren system is very veli timely one, the sign say tren come at 5.51pm, the analogue clock show 5.50pm, then from the distance you will hear a train coming liao...)

Here AH JIB BRO saying "we will give only the best to you" or something liddat. With that smile of his. Yes, the best, including a flimsy platform cardboard display (no need to be like some other countries where the signs are encased in a terror impressive INTEGRATED INFORMATION BOARD)...

ITULAH HAKIKAT KEHIDUPAN.

PS - UGLY MALAYSIANA recently took the ERL to KL Sentral from KLIA2. While coming out from the ticket barriers, UGLY MALAYSIANA's ticket gave the machine an error message. It took about 15 minutes for the management to rectify the ticketing problem.

One of the TOUCH N GO gate also rosak. They had to hire a janitor looking woman to tell passengers "guna laluan touch n go lain, ini rosak". 

UGLY MALAYSIANA asked them, "why rosak so cepat? the gate look so new!". The ERL authorities said "banyak orang guna, cepat rosak..." (many people use, very fast become out of order).

KENAPA MACAM TU? NAMPAK MACAM MODERN, LOOK MODERN N NEW, shiny. NAJIB SAID HE WANTED TO GIVE US THE BEST RIGHT? Why places like SG or Tokyo, kalau rosak, cepat fix, and their central train stations have maybe 100x more passenger flow compared to ERL punya. Kenapa theirs can fungsi so well le?

AH JIB, KENAPA?

Selamat Hari Merdeka kawan2 sekalian

EH GOVERNMENT, U VELI THE WISHY WASHY.

I MALAS NAK KOMEN DAH.

IMAGE ON TOP OF THIS POST IS

TAKEN FROM A FRIEND'S BLOG,

WHICH IS DELIGHTFULLY TITLED:

"COMIC-SANS".

Terima kasih daun mangga,

Harap Raya disambut dengan perasaan bangga.

SALAM MERDEKARAYA DARI KEAWAN2 DI UGLY MALAYSIANA.

Not Lovely: Lagu Tema Merdeka / Propaganda BN song

O... 55th Merdeka song. 

Patriotik ah. Ask aunties to pose in 1Malaysia shop.

RM500 ang pao for poor people, oso in the slide show one... 

LIRIK/LYRICS BY: RAIS YATIM

(Got rap segment in the end also about da shop... 
MR RAIS YATIM, that one sound so western wor, you OK ah,
later our Eastern morals tak crumble ah....?
Oso some people say
macam Indonesian Christian song wor...
tak ori gitewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww............................

Macam malam ikut siang

Macam bulan ikut matahari

1Malaysia terus berjuang

Janji Kita ditepati

Kata Kita dikota

Janji Kita ditepati

Hidup Rakyat Dibela

Masa Depan Diberkati

Janji sudah ditepati

Kini masa balas budi

(Chorus)

Janji siapa? Janji kita

Janji apa? Janji 1Malaysia

Janji siapa? Janji kita

Janji apa? Janji 1Malaysia

Ini janji kita BR1M 1Malaysia

Ini janji 1Malaysia

TR1M 1Malaysia

Kata kita dikota

Kini 1Malaysia

Janji kita ditepati

Kedai 1Malaysia

* * *

POPULAR COMMENT ON THE YOUTUBE VIDEO:

Janji kita ditepati,Kedai 1Malaysia ??? APA KENA MENGENA DGN MERDEKA????

BUAT Je Lah kat Tv1 Tv2 Tv3 takpe la..

Lagi Tunjuk RM500 pasal apa? ada kaitan ke kalau bagi RM500

Berkaitan MERDEKA? aduh sakit kepala aku ? MOtif sebenar Lagu TEMA

(Hari Merdeka ke-55)....

Bolehkah anda semua nampak Yg berhormat TUNKU abdul Rahman kita Hanya muncul dlm Mata wang Riggit Malaysia sahaja... 3:08

manakala yg Di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Sultan Kedah hanya memuncul dlm video ini tidak lebih 2 saat ... 3:26

VJ5611313 2 hours ago 19 

GUEST POST oleh Encik Tanah dari Taman Seputeh

(GUEST POST featuring Maskot Sukan Malaysia 2012)

Oleh: ENCIK TANAH

Sukan Menjana Perpaduan Gajah -Gajah. If you see the 'manusia gajah' mascots properly ha, actually Tahan is kicking Rajah ass and Puteh also wanna do the same to Teku. You can see fear in Teku's kawaiii eyes. I wonder what is their reationship and what's up with the violent behaviour :)

but Rajah is high on drug (see the face), that's why he/she happily celebrating his/her ass being kicked by Tahan. "boleh Tahan la" kata Rajah, yang kebal setelah memakan flora flora yang mempunyai nilai perubatan yang tinggi.

owh! they all in one family! Jadi keganasan rumah tangga dalam keluarga yang dysfunctional. (subliminal message is -don't dare to question us kid, the parent always right)

THE END

COMMENT FROM MS. SAKURA BLOSSOM:

i like that they made the father wearing pink tshirt instead of the mom,...hehe

RESPONSE FROM ENCIK TANAH: yeah, maybe because he is the closeted gay born in malay muslim family in the highly homophobic society somewhere in daerah Pekan, Pahang. That's why, sexually repressed individual caused the violent behaviour

Special Report: Logo Kemerdekaan Ke-55 LOL...

Source

Apa ni? 

LOVELY. A compilation Merdeka logos from Hussein Onn's reign (1976-1980), 

with the bulk of it being from the Mahathir-era (1981-2000)
and a little bit of Badawi (2007-2008 logos). 

Mostly endearing, sweet emblems of unity, progress. 

Pretty, graphical shapes, many symmetrical, building blocks of pride and patriotism. Nostalgic. 

Some are simple to construct, but in its simplicity, there is calculated precision. 

DID YOU KNOW: Adobe Illustrator did not exist in the 80s ya.

Makes the 'vintage logos' that much more special kan?

NAJIB'S REIGN, 2009

 EH EH APA NI?

Hanya nampak 1Malaysia logo for 3 years

(refer to above graphic, bottom right corner)

Najib Era, no creativity ke? Change tagline jer? Rakyat Sejahtera? Betul ke? 

Talk about progress tapi three years logo also never progress one? So same same... tak jelak?

See it on trains, on ugly diaper boxes, on TV, in post offices.... Familiarity breeds __________ ?

* * *

OK... BEB:

2012 punya logo...

THIS HERE IS THE JEWEL OF NAJIB'S GOVERNMENT,

REPRESENTING MALAYSIA AS THE MODERN, EFFICIENT, 

FORWARD THINKING (but not so, sometimes) 

AND WORLD KELAS GITEW

nation that we think we are.

"MERDEKA 55 LOGO IS GROSS LOL"

But to many, this is a fugly work of design ya. There's a tutorial where you can 'throw this together' on your own (you do not need complex Illustrator formulas either). The fonts are the 'default computer' types. Assembled last minute by a secretary with MS Word kot? 

"MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE"—ANONYMOUS

It is embarrassing, shameful, and it shows how Najib's administration just probably doesn't care... rileks too much ke? How can anyone let this pass without professional consultation? Or the agency was paid tens of thousands but tasks were 'trickled down' until reach secretary level ke, the rest of the funds evaporated somewhere ah? 

Inspiration: Manila card noticeboards at governmental offices. 

Someone identified an "awek kakitangan kerajaan" as the 'culprit'. But the poor thing probably does not know a thing about typography or design (if you do, Ms Awek Kakitangan Kerajaan... SHAME ON YOU FOR DOING A BAD UGLY JOB. I thought our education veli high macam standard kat UK—so says our deputy PM?). SHAME ON YOU, PERSON-WHO-CONFIRM-THIS-FOR-PRESS-RELEASE also! 

UGLY MALAYSIA honestly wonders if AH JIB KOR is listening to our pleas for a better Merdeka logo. Stick to the phallic 1Malaysia symbol if you need to. This is an insult to Malaysian Design and its legacy, a disrespect towards the other designs in the Merdeka logo archives. 55th logo will stick out like a sore middle finger if placed together with all the rest. PM fears that next time no more chance to play play anymore with the logo so now go all out is it? We don't need this not-so-ironic anti-design being broadcasted 20 meters tall over that UMNO building and UGLYFYING JALAN KUCHING/JALAN IPOH/DAN JALAN2 LAIN. Traffic jams are already too much of an eyesore.
Ish ish ish... Apa dah jadik.......................................

Sekian, trikaseh daun keladi.

Harap dapat berjumpa lagi.

PS: REMEMBER THIS HUMILIATING EPISODE?

SPECIAL REPORT ABOUT THE VERY UGLY KLANG VALLEY MRT LOGO

It's da weekend again, be safe

Malaysia safest country in Southeast Asia, 19th in the world - Latuk Seri Hishammudin Tun Hussein

Trikaseh kepada 

GUEST CONTRIBUTOR TERKENAL, MS. DILL MALIK.

* * * *

COMMENT BY UGLY MALAYSIANA:

DO U FEEL SAFE walking alone around badly maintained 'sidewalks' in Cheras trying to reach a STAR LRT STATION that seems kilometers away as you pass by seedy commuters trying to sell you things or borrow money, or when you're taking in the midnight air in your neighbourhood lake gardens (in other words, cruising perhaps), or as you walk to work in the morning when the sun is just coming up, clutching an office bag tightly because of all the stories from friends and coworkers about 'ragut' and snatch thieves. 

DO U FEEL SAFE at the mamak in Ampang leaving your iFon 4S on the table to your friends' disapproval, or your LV PURSE terkepit at your sweaty armpits as you brave hundreds of others for kangkung and peha ayam at your favourite Pasar Malam?  

DO U FEEL SAFE having a laptop in your car as you rush out to buy a Chatime because you've heard so many laptop thefts from people in your life — how they left it in the car for 10 minutes and it's gone, and these real stories from everyone you know, have happened, and how crime is really real, and how we're all paranoid and have a huge distrust towards strangers of another race, how it's a really real problem, and now a minister tells us we're the safest country in South East Asia based on an index... and you know their reality is skewed because they have bodyguards everywhere, and they never take public transport, and never have to walk alone on dingy alleys to get home from work...

Is da weekend... spend your sens sensibly...

Wah look at these Malaysian 

and Euro coins. So similar...  

It's great that the Malaysian sens now celebrate the existence of indigenous tribes by featuring their ethnic motifs and weaves. 

But look at the parallel lines on the Euro coins, a motif designed by a Belgian man in 1996, with 12 tiny dots on the edges to denote the 12 countries that originally adopted the currency. In the Malaysian sens, eh, got similar design ah for 14 states/federal territories.

Siapa yang design ni? Siapa yang meluluskan? Katak di bawah tempurung ke? Tak malu ah, begitu dekat sekali corak dengan Euro punya... 

Takperlah asalkan duit ni x haram, blh pakai...

More Ugly Behaviour

A "peaceful demonstration"

As noted in the New Straits Times... 

(wow they love burning pictures of her, 

just like at the 'peaceful' Anti-LGBT rally in Serdang some weeks ago). 

"We condemn Ambiga's action, which has become the source of disunity among the people in the country now. She is also a supporter of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) group."

UGLY MALAYSIA sees a big disconnect in the above statement. 

Want to strip her off their citizenship izit? Balik Cina, Balik India again? So what if she supports HUMAN RIGHTS? Who is making all the fuss about disunity, if not for UMNO and the likes of PERKASA (see next picture). Hypocrites. She is fighting for a better Malaysia, for you, dear haterz. That includes you, the closeted gay haterz too. BTW, Obama is a supporter too.

How extremely rude! 

To Najib (or Rosmah?), why have you not arrested these angry fools? Aren't they inciting racial hatred? Perkasa Penang, you are culturally insensitive! Why can mock others but others cannot mock you? To Malaysian UGLY MALAYSIANA readers, do you want your country to be run by angry people protesting about trivial matters?       

A "burger protest" against Bersih

In front of Ambiga's house. These people said they suffered huge losses wor but as many Bersih 3.0 participants pointed out, the restaurants/shops/stalls that were opened had "roaring business". Your loss, poor 1Malaysia burger makers... and your loss too for not making much business selling them greasy saturated fatty patties in this upmarket neighbourhood.  

Spotted: Sex graphics at a protest

From Malaysiakini:

A group of Malay traders whose business was allegedly affected by the Bersih 3.0 rally today demanded the police to arrest the Bersih coalition co-chairperson Ambiga Sreenevasan so to prevent further chaos in the country.

COMMENT FROM UGLY MALAYSIANA:

Amboi, suka sangat insult other people not by means of intelligence, wit or facts, but with crass teenage insults pertaining to seks (very low class!). 


Yes, kissing scenes are banned, boobs are censored in magazines with black markers (or the page torn off completely), pro-LGBT acceptance speeches at the Oscars are cut off by ASTRO, yet it seems like 'sex' is the only thing on the minds of the Pro-BN/UMNO divide. 


So filthy kan? Subconsciously need to be 'Cleaned'? Nak dibersihkan ker? 


To the people who think they will shift voters by making fun of other parties in such childish ways, SHAME ON U.

Politikz

Politics in Malaysia is ridiculously flawed. The system is broken. The institutions are failing us. The individuals, in order to survive in the system, become flawed themselves. There’s something wrong with the way that society views politicians as well – why is it that at events they are feted like royalty, with money being spent to make them feel important, red carpet, worship? They are wakil rakyat, not gods. Meet-the-public sessions should be sessions where the rakyat go and ask them hard questions, to make them accountable, not to go and shake hands and pose for pictures and worship the ground they walk on. Why should so many people get police outriders? It is a disgusting ecosystem.

- Marcus van Geyzel, lawyer and curator of Loyarburok.co. Quite taken from The Malaysian Insider

It's the weekend

2-become-1 Malaysia. Double the penetration! 

We love our government! We love Najib! We love all the multi-coloured bulbs decorating our beautiful city, Kuala Lumpur! 

We love the Bunga Mangga-tipped street lamp decorations 

— bursting like an orgasmic, static firework!

Have a lovely Christian holiday (non-existent in Peninsular Malaysia). 

SALAM

SU

ATU

MALASIA.

Email to the author of this blog

"...I had to leave Malaysia in a total disgust with the government and the bureaucratic system.

I like your website "uglymalaysia" . Truly speaks about Malaysia. I have lived there for 5 1/2 years and would not recommend to any one even for a vacation. The TV commercial that they show about " Malaysia Truly Asia" is a total trap."

— Anonymous reader. Ugly Malaysiana thanks you for your feedback.

Terrible low cost flat life in SS13 Subang Jaya

 Shady silhouettes against a vanilla sky, swaying gently in the cool evening breeze.

What's not to love?

MAYBE THE SIGHT AT THE FOOT OF THESE TREES 

i.e. THE SIGHT BELOW

IS WHAT YOU WOULD NOT LOVE:

 

Piles upon piles of trash, compressed over time, a habitat for rats as big as kittens — animals who do not fear the lazy cats of SS13, and who feed on toxic waste, including the rubber/plastic tubing in cars. Yuck...

  The stench of SS13 pasar malam leftovers (fishy smells, decaying fruits, etc). Plus rubbish flung randomly by the residents of the flats (many of whom are immigrants, their post-factory lives condensed into a 500 sq ft unit with about five others).

 Up close, the presence of loan sharks still very much intact. 

UGLY MALAYSIANA is disgusted that there are people in Subang Jaya (including UGLY MALAYSIANA'S VERY OWN PARENTS) and many other LOW COST FLATS living with such poor conditions. Poor hygiene, poor fumes, poor sight for our already sore eyes. Poor poor people! 

U.M. urges the city councils to do something about this mess. Tar up the horrible dirt roads that trap water and form toxic murky puddles that breed bacteria and flies. Even stray cats deserve cleaner water to drink from. Have a better trash-collecting system. Things can be low cost but decently done, not in this state of disregard.

Just because the SS13 flats are unoccupied by datins and important people who have power to raise issues does not mean that the current population of SS13 (and other low cost flat areas) have to suffer such appalling states of being. It is 2012 and it still looks like a war zone, tainted by neglect. 1Malaysia, where r u? This looks like the side of Malaysia that is tucked away because it is too ugly. It's hidden and rotting away, rotting the spirits of those who live there.

Dear Mr. Prime Minister, you spend RM80 million on a birthday bash. What about spending just a fraction of that to improve the daily sights (and therefore lives) of the tens of thousands of poor Malaysians affected by this malaise?

Guest Post: "New ticket system; same shite."

"Best part is, you can't top up touch n gone at the new machines, you have to que with the rakyat to get it topped up since the dedicated touch n gone top up machines don't usually work."

IN COMPARISON IS AN IMAGE TAKEN

IN THE BRAS BASAH MRT STATION IN SINGAPORE, MAY 2011:

 

SPECIAL GUEST POST by Azrul Kevin Abdullah, photographer.

Akhirnya, kutemui cinta-mu... THUMBS UP!

VULGAR!

Guts, intestines, photoshop bevels, lots of Arial, and maybe Trajan, for that cinemetique effect. Plus a dubious VVVVVVVVVVVVVIP.

Post Office

To coincide with the subject of this post, a 'letter format' will hereby be adopted:

 Dear beloved fellow Malaysian,

how r u? hope dis finds u well.

As you make your way into the premises of a Malaysian post office to get your hands on a 1Malaysiana First Day Cover, or if you would like to inquire about postal voting (or simply, if you're really that slow: registering to vote) be greeted with bouquets of polyester flowers that smell like dust and stale air conditioning.

Lean over the counter after you hear your number being called by that monotonous voice: DUA SEMBILAN KOSONG LIMA, and say, Selamat Petang cik, bolehkah saya dibantu?

On your left, in that glass cabinet, some travel memorabilia. Perhaps a Doreamon, a Hello Kitty (all pirated).

In front of you, beyond the Civil Servant woman in the oversized indigo mens jacket, admire the rulers of the country in gold-framed posters. Yellow is always a good colour to spot, should you have trouble looking for these dignitaries.

Or are you too caught up with interpreting the hand written placards, notices on whiteboards or maybe torn cardboard boxes, the empty shells of bulk stationery purchases?

Don't you feel like tearing out the A4 print-out notices as well - a very satisfying sound of the sharp pulp tearing apart from fingerprint-stained white plaster walls...

Speaking of fingers, after you have purchased your stamps (paddy, a certain amount of sens... mangosteens, more expensive ones [to send a pirated DVD to your loved one in Gemas?], a bunch of rambutans, RM0.40...) - you have two options to paste it onto your envelope: simply lick it or if you prefer a more hygenic option, dab it on the sponge on that shellac-stained rubberwood table near the entrance, the one the with lots of sticker residues yes, and yes, that sponge that is almost blackened, dampened by what looks like some thinly diluted Chinese ink...


Sincerely yours,

MADAME UGLY MALAYSIANA.