FAUX PAS UMNO. EH, BUKAN Parti Pas beb. FAUX PAS.

UMNO, UR BAD TYPESETTING

CAN CAUSE PAIN TO MS. SHAHRIZAT JALIL U KNOW? 

TO THE DESIGNER OF THIS BANNER,

(or siapa2 kreatif direktor, or advertising exek, or boss ataupun orang kenamaan power yang konfirm rekaan grafikkk ini):

IF APPROACHED BY A DISTRAUGHT & NOT-AMUSED MS. SHAHRIZAT JALIL,

SCREAMING:

"EH I WAN 2 KNOW,

WHO DID DIS 2 ME?

DIE LA MAI OWN PARTI OSO

DUN PRACTIS RESPEK 4 ME...

DIS IS NOGHT FUNNI...

WHO IZ RESPONSIBLE? STAND UP?"

CAN U PARDON YOURSELF BY EXPLAINING THAT U HAVE HORRIBLE LOGIK, NO SENSE OF INFORMATION HIERARCHY OR WORD PLACEMENT? 

CAN ESCAPE FROM THE WRATH OF MS. SHAHRIZAT JALIL BY SAYING:

"BOSS, I TAK PI KOLEJ DASAIN, I BUAT JER KAT ADOBI ILLUSTRATER........... 

PEASE FORGIVE ME, I TAK TAU YANG SENTENCE TU READ

SHAHRIZAT LEMBU...

PROGRAM KORBAN PERDANA...

"MANALAH I TAU, I X ADA DESIGN SKILLZ."

WILL SHE FORGIVE U?

WILL U STILL BE RETAINED N NOT FIRED

CAUSE MEBBE YOUR NEXT BANNER WILL BE XTRA RESPETFUL FOLLOWING SOME LOGIK?

ENTAH. Tuhan sajer yg tau beb..........................

COMMENT FROM MS LAINIE YEOH:

There is much to criticise about Shahrizat, and much to hold her accountable for. This kinda stuff though? This just kinda makes me a bit pissed off at everybody.
Because this kinda reminds me of Rosmah fat jokes. The idea that to strip a woman of power, all you need to do is reduce her dignity — I really dislike that.

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF TONY PUA

Poster Filem dari Interlog Malaysia, bukannya Interlock ya...

Pilem terbaharu darik INTERLOG (bukan Interlock) Malaysia Sdn Bhd... 

Ewah, girl, cerah sakali ya skin kalar mu...  puteh berseri semacam tanktop mu. Ooo padan sakali dengan jam tangan boypren mu... 

Black on white... like the stripes on the boypren's shirt...  white on black.... so on and so forth. 

DON'T MISS IT BRO................

Note: The janggut got softer edge..... a sensitive touch from the designer of this banner.

Doctored photo

UGLY MALAYSIA's doctored image of a doctored image.

VERY UGLY BEHAVIOUR. 

HOPE UOLS NJOI YR WEEKEND.

Thank you Najib for cheap household items

Thank you Najib and Lim Kok Wing for the inspiring book. Yes, the nation is on his mind! People in his heart!

Najib is on my mind too when I use the 1Malaysia Toilet Paper. Kertas Najis...

Terima kasih banyak2 ya Ah Jib Kor sebab ada produk kertas najis berjenama RAKYAT.....................................................

Selamat Menyambut Hari Malaysia

Spotted in Brickfields. VERY LOVELY. Old uncle make one...

Definitely an addition to PRETTY MALAYSIANA.

Enjoy life in KL or Raub, or Sandakan, or Mantin. We are friends ya? Semua bersama, berganding bahu. 

Tak kira East or West Malaisie, tak kira Bangsar, Agama dan Budaya (LGBT ke lurus, ah, tidak apa!)... marilah make this country a livable space, without hate plz. Malaysia, u alls boleh tak?

Selamat Hari Merdeka kawan2 sekalian

EH GOVERNMENT, U VELI THE WISHY WASHY.

I MALAS NAK KOMEN DAH.

IMAGE ON TOP OF THIS POST IS

TAKEN FROM A FRIEND'S BLOG,

WHICH IS DELIGHTFULLY TITLED:

"COMIC-SANS".

Terima kasih daun mangga,

Harap Raya disambut dengan perasaan bangga.

SALAM MERDEKARAYA DARI KEAWAN2 DI UGLY MALAYSIANA.

Salam Ramadan

HOT PINK. MERAH JAMBU. DI ATAS BADAN GYM-TONE ADIK JAMBU? 

NAK PEGANG?

GO COMMANDO. THUMB-UP-GITEW.

POSA SEASON CIUM CIUM, 

DARI AH KIT.............. 

KAWAN ANDA YANG TERSAYANG..............

Picture above, from Adik Manis, Gadis Melayu Terakhir................................ trikaseh dik!!!!!!!!

It's da weekend...

 Hi boiz....... feeling loneli? Beautiful sad feeling hor....

Find luv den... be a pair...

If dun have luv, mebbe can find fwens... or udder no strings attached, heaty fun mebbe? studded. frens abc... asian born chinese? hemsem jugak ye....... 

(pictures taken from a Pasar Malam located in Petaling Jaya)

HV A GUD WEEKEND N BE FABULOSS BOIZZZZZZZZZZ...........................

LUV UGLY MALAYSIANA

Not Lovely: Lagu Tema Merdeka / Propaganda BN song

O... 55th Merdeka song. 

Patriotik ah. Ask aunties to pose in 1Malaysia shop.

RM500 ang pao for poor people, oso in the slide show one... 

LIRIK/LYRICS BY: RAIS YATIM

(Got rap segment in the end also about da shop... 
MR RAIS YATIM, that one sound so western wor, you OK ah,
later our Eastern morals tak crumble ah....?
Oso some people say
macam Indonesian Christian song wor...
tak ori gitewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww............................

Macam malam ikut siang

Macam bulan ikut matahari

1Malaysia terus berjuang

Janji Kita ditepati

Kata Kita dikota

Janji Kita ditepati

Hidup Rakyat Dibela

Masa Depan Diberkati

Janji sudah ditepati

Kini masa balas budi

(Chorus)

Janji siapa? Janji kita

Janji apa? Janji 1Malaysia

Janji siapa? Janji kita

Janji apa? Janji 1Malaysia

Ini janji kita BR1M 1Malaysia

Ini janji 1Malaysia

TR1M 1Malaysia

Kata kita dikota

Kini 1Malaysia

Janji kita ditepati

Kedai 1Malaysia

* * *

POPULAR COMMENT ON THE YOUTUBE VIDEO:

Janji kita ditepati,Kedai 1Malaysia ??? APA KENA MENGENA DGN MERDEKA????

BUAT Je Lah kat Tv1 Tv2 Tv3 takpe la..

Lagi Tunjuk RM500 pasal apa? ada kaitan ke kalau bagi RM500

Berkaitan MERDEKA? aduh sakit kepala aku ? MOtif sebenar Lagu TEMA

(Hari Merdeka ke-55)....

Bolehkah anda semua nampak Yg berhormat TUNKU abdul Rahman kita Hanya muncul dlm Mata wang Riggit Malaysia sahaja... 3:08

manakala yg Di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Sultan Kedah hanya memuncul dlm video ini tidak lebih 2 saat ... 3:26

VJ5611313 2 hours ago 19 

Guest Post oleh Madam Meraung Kesepian

Trikaseh adik manis MERAUNG KESEPIAN,

untuk gambar yang lazat dan enak2 belaka di atas.

Mamak ini (di mana ya?) has a rather interesting signboard

in three types of typefaces: 

1. SERIF

(middle, spelling out RESTORAN VARGINA)

2. SANS SERIF (bottom portion)

3. Arabic script (top portion)

* * *

UGLY MALAYSIANA

BEING QUITE ANAL RETENTIVE

ABOUT TYPOGRAPHY,

SPOTTED A DESIGN FAUX PAS

IN THE SANS SERIF PORTION OF
THE SIGNAGE ABOVE.
THE PROBLEM IS

A TECHNICAL ONE:

INCORRECT KERNING. 

GUEST POST oleh Encik Tanah dari Taman Seputeh

(GUEST POST featuring Maskot Sukan Malaysia 2012)

Oleh: ENCIK TANAH

Sukan Menjana Perpaduan Gajah -Gajah. If you see the 'manusia gajah' mascots properly ha, actually Tahan is kicking Rajah ass and Puteh also wanna do the same to Teku. You can see fear in Teku's kawaiii eyes. I wonder what is their reationship and what's up with the violent behaviour :)

but Rajah is high on drug (see the face), that's why he/she happily celebrating his/her ass being kicked by Tahan. "boleh Tahan la" kata Rajah, yang kebal setelah memakan flora flora yang mempunyai nilai perubatan yang tinggi.

owh! they all in one family! Jadi keganasan rumah tangga dalam keluarga yang dysfunctional. (subliminal message is -don't dare to question us kid, the parent always right)

THE END

COMMENT FROM MS. SAKURA BLOSSOM:

i like that they made the father wearing pink tshirt instead of the mom,...hehe

RESPONSE FROM ENCIK TANAH: yeah, maybe because he is the closeted gay born in malay muslim family in the highly homophobic society somewhere in daerah Pekan, Pahang. That's why, sexually repressed individual caused the violent behaviour

Special Report: Logo Kemerdekaan Ke-55 LOL...

Source

Apa ni? 

LOVELY. A compilation Merdeka logos from Hussein Onn's reign (1976-1980), 

with the bulk of it being from the Mahathir-era (1981-2000)
and a little bit of Badawi (2007-2008 logos). 

Mostly endearing, sweet emblems of unity, progress. 

Pretty, graphical shapes, many symmetrical, building blocks of pride and patriotism. Nostalgic. 

Some are simple to construct, but in its simplicity, there is calculated precision. 

DID YOU KNOW: Adobe Illustrator did not exist in the 80s ya.

Makes the 'vintage logos' that much more special kan?

NAJIB'S REIGN, 2009

 EH EH APA NI?

Hanya nampak 1Malaysia logo for 3 years

(refer to above graphic, bottom right corner)

Najib Era, no creativity ke? Change tagline jer? Rakyat Sejahtera? Betul ke? 

Talk about progress tapi three years logo also never progress one? So same same... tak jelak?

See it on trains, on ugly diaper boxes, on TV, in post offices.... Familiarity breeds __________ ?

* * *

OK... BEB:

2012 punya logo...

THIS HERE IS THE JEWEL OF NAJIB'S GOVERNMENT,

REPRESENTING MALAYSIA AS THE MODERN, EFFICIENT, 

FORWARD THINKING (but not so, sometimes) 

AND WORLD KELAS GITEW

nation that we think we are.

"MERDEKA 55 LOGO IS GROSS LOL"

But to many, this is a fugly work of design ya. There's a tutorial where you can 'throw this together' on your own (you do not need complex Illustrator formulas either). The fonts are the 'default computer' types. Assembled last minute by a secretary with MS Word kot? 

"MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE"—ANONYMOUS

It is embarrassing, shameful, and it shows how Najib's administration just probably doesn't care... rileks too much ke? How can anyone let this pass without professional consultation? Or the agency was paid tens of thousands but tasks were 'trickled down' until reach secretary level ke, the rest of the funds evaporated somewhere ah? 

Inspiration: Manila card noticeboards at governmental offices. 

Someone identified an "awek kakitangan kerajaan" as the 'culprit'. But the poor thing probably does not know a thing about typography or design (if you do, Ms Awek Kakitangan Kerajaan... SHAME ON YOU FOR DOING A BAD UGLY JOB. I thought our education veli high macam standard kat UK—so says our deputy PM?). SHAME ON YOU, PERSON-WHO-CONFIRM-THIS-FOR-PRESS-RELEASE also! 

UGLY MALAYSIA honestly wonders if AH JIB KOR is listening to our pleas for a better Merdeka logo. Stick to the phallic 1Malaysia symbol if you need to. This is an insult to Malaysian Design and its legacy, a disrespect towards the other designs in the Merdeka logo archives. 55th logo will stick out like a sore middle finger if placed together with all the rest. PM fears that next time no more chance to play play anymore with the logo so now go all out is it? We don't need this not-so-ironic anti-design being broadcasted 20 meters tall over that UMNO building and UGLYFYING JALAN KUCHING/JALAN IPOH/DAN JALAN2 LAIN. Traffic jams are already too much of an eyesore.
Ish ish ish... Apa dah jadik.......................................

Sekian, trikaseh daun keladi.

Harap dapat berjumpa lagi.

PS: REMEMBER THIS HUMILIATING EPISODE?

SPECIAL REPORT ABOUT THE VERY UGLY KLANG VALLEY MRT LOGO

Comparison between Singapore and Malaysia

SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE.

THE AUTHOR OF UGLY MALAYSIANA IS BUSY.

HE ALSO RECEIVED THE BELOW INSIGHT FROM

A SINGAPOREAN. LOOKS LIKE IT'S NOT SO BAD HERE AFTER ALL,

TO SOME PEOPLE. 

UGLY SINGAPURA BENEATH THE POSH GLEAMS OF MODERNITY.

* * *

singapore is consistently running to the front of the line to build these, then demolish it, then rebuilding it. you could hardly find any space without dust n noise from it. if u are not around to witness it say more than 3 months, then yeah u miss out on it quite abit. human wise... cant say much for them. i cant blame anyone or can i if i can locate them whos responsible to cultivate such bad attitude n expectation for life. my experience in KL 4yrs ago was a pleasent one. visited KL 4 times over 2mths back then. KLians very much eqquipped, easy going n friendly to friend n share thus from one party group u may end up to another more interesting n exciting n happening party neaby. here in spore is different too much kiss n tell.... on things not needed to know. n the good stuff are always not told n kept under blanket for themself.

Yet another reason to avoid comic sans

Seksinya advertisement ini. Ketat, rapat, kemut, bergetah. 

Sentiasa gembira dengan hubungan intim dengan suami. Bagui.

Wah, begitu direct the copywriting. Vagina kembali dara.

Tak kisahlah even though the advertisement very tasteless and ugly, asalkan ada tongue sticking out suggestively can liao. 

Asalkan tudung blend into the gradient background can liao oso... RED IS FOR PASSIONZ.

Don't forget: use up to 5 fonts...... lebih xtra, lebih oomph kan? Insyaallah...

Good news at last

MPSJ staff remove 

illegal stickers and posters

Get massage den later can go eat bean sprout chicken rice

YET ANOTHER KOTA DAMANSARA POST.

(the scene does not look appetising, does it?)

DO U WANT 2 B GREASY WITH D'TOUCH MASSAGE OIL,

OR GREASY WITH BEAN SPROUT CHICKEN RICE OIL?

CHANCES ARE, THE MASSEUR AND THE CHICKEN RICE CHEF

WOULD PROBABLY BE AN IMMIGRANT.

S/HE WOULD GET PAID VERY LITTLE (BUT PERHAPS A BIT MORE THAN THE MALAYSIAN MINIMUM WAGE OF RM700).

S/HE WOULDN'T HAVE VERY GOOD STANDARDS OF LIVING, ARE VICTIMS OF CORRUPTION, ARE CONSTANTLY HARASSED, AND ARE UNHAPPY.

THUS IN TURN, THEY PRODUCE 

SHITTY HAWKER FOOD, 

VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE HAWKER FOOD STANDARDS

THAT SOME MALAYSIANS

ARE SO USED TO, 

AND SO WE BITCH ABOUT THEM, AND IT NEVER ENDS.

It's da weekend again, be safe

Malaysia safest country in Southeast Asia, 19th in the world - Latuk Seri Hishammudin Tun Hussein

Trikaseh kepada 

GUEST CONTRIBUTOR TERKENAL, MS. DILL MALIK.

* * * *

COMMENT BY UGLY MALAYSIANA:

DO U FEEL SAFE walking alone around badly maintained 'sidewalks' in Cheras trying to reach a STAR LRT STATION that seems kilometers away as you pass by seedy commuters trying to sell you things or borrow money, or when you're taking in the midnight air in your neighbourhood lake gardens (in other words, cruising perhaps), or as you walk to work in the morning when the sun is just coming up, clutching an office bag tightly because of all the stories from friends and coworkers about 'ragut' and snatch thieves. 

DO U FEEL SAFE at the mamak in Ampang leaving your iFon 4S on the table to your friends' disapproval, or your LV PURSE terkepit at your sweaty armpits as you brave hundreds of others for kangkung and peha ayam at your favourite Pasar Malam?  

DO U FEEL SAFE having a laptop in your car as you rush out to buy a Chatime because you've heard so many laptop thefts from people in your life — how they left it in the car for 10 minutes and it's gone, and these real stories from everyone you know, have happened, and how crime is really real, and how we're all paranoid and have a huge distrust towards strangers of another race, how it's a really real problem, and now a minister tells us we're the safest country in South East Asia based on an index... and you know their reality is skewed because they have bodyguards everywhere, and they never take public transport, and never have to walk alone on dingy alleys to get home from work...

Is da weekend... spend your sens sensibly...

Wah look at these Malaysian 

and Euro coins. So similar...  

It's great that the Malaysian sens now celebrate the existence of indigenous tribes by featuring their ethnic motifs and weaves. 

But look at the parallel lines on the Euro coins, a motif designed by a Belgian man in 1996, with 12 tiny dots on the edges to denote the 12 countries that originally adopted the currency. In the Malaysian sens, eh, got similar design ah for 14 states/federal territories.

Siapa yang design ni? Siapa yang meluluskan? Katak di bawah tempurung ke? Tak malu ah, begitu dekat sekali corak dengan Euro punya... 

Takperlah asalkan duit ni x haram, blh pakai...

More Ugly Behaviour

A "peaceful demonstration"

As noted in the New Straits Times... 

(wow they love burning pictures of her, 

just like at the 'peaceful' Anti-LGBT rally in Serdang some weeks ago). 

"We condemn Ambiga's action, which has become the source of disunity among the people in the country now. She is also a supporter of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) group."

UGLY MALAYSIA sees a big disconnect in the above statement. 

Want to strip her off their citizenship izit? Balik Cina, Balik India again? So what if she supports HUMAN RIGHTS? Who is making all the fuss about disunity, if not for UMNO and the likes of PERKASA (see next picture). Hypocrites. She is fighting for a better Malaysia, for you, dear haterz. That includes you, the closeted gay haterz too. BTW, Obama is a supporter too.

How extremely rude! 

To Najib (or Rosmah?), why have you not arrested these angry fools? Aren't they inciting racial hatred? Perkasa Penang, you are culturally insensitive! Why can mock others but others cannot mock you? To Malaysian UGLY MALAYSIANA readers, do you want your country to be run by angry people protesting about trivial matters?       

A "burger protest" against Bersih

In front of Ambiga's house. These people said they suffered huge losses wor but as many Bersih 3.0 participants pointed out, the restaurants/shops/stalls that were opened had "roaring business". Your loss, poor 1Malaysia burger makers... and your loss too for not making much business selling them greasy saturated fatty patties in this upmarket neighbourhood.  

Spotted: Sex graphics at a protest

From Malaysiakini:

A group of Malay traders whose business was allegedly affected by the Bersih 3.0 rally today demanded the police to arrest the Bersih coalition co-chairperson Ambiga Sreenevasan so to prevent further chaos in the country.

COMMENT FROM UGLY MALAYSIANA:

Amboi, suka sangat insult other people not by means of intelligence, wit or facts, but with crass teenage insults pertaining to seks (very low class!). 


Yes, kissing scenes are banned, boobs are censored in magazines with black markers (or the page torn off completely), pro-LGBT acceptance speeches at the Oscars are cut off by ASTRO, yet it seems like 'sex' is the only thing on the minds of the Pro-BN/UMNO divide. 


So filthy kan? Subconsciously need to be 'Cleaned'? Nak dibersihkan ker? 


To the people who think they will shift voters by making fun of other parties in such childish ways, SHAME ON U.

Politikz

Politics in Malaysia is ridiculously flawed. The system is broken. The institutions are failing us. The individuals, in order to survive in the system, become flawed themselves. There’s something wrong with the way that society views politicians as well – why is it that at events they are feted like royalty, with money being spent to make them feel important, red carpet, worship? They are wakil rakyat, not gods. Meet-the-public sessions should be sessions where the rakyat go and ask them hard questions, to make them accountable, not to go and shake hands and pose for pictures and worship the ground they walk on. Why should so many people get police outriders? It is a disgusting ecosystem.

- Marcus van Geyzel, lawyer and curator of Loyarburok.co. Quite taken from The Malaysian Insider

It's the weekend

2-become-1 Malaysia. Double the penetration! 

We love our government! We love Najib! We love all the multi-coloured bulbs decorating our beautiful city, Kuala Lumpur! 

We love the Bunga Mangga-tipped street lamp decorations 

— bursting like an orgasmic, static firework!

Have a lovely Christian holiday (non-existent in Peninsular Malaysia). 

SALAM

SU

ATU

MALASIA.

Email to the author of this blog

"...I had to leave Malaysia in a total disgust with the government and the bureaucratic system.

I like your website "uglymalaysia" . Truly speaks about Malaysia. I have lived there for 5 1/2 years and would not recommend to any one even for a vacation. The TV commercial that they show about " Malaysia Truly Asia" is a total trap."

— Anonymous reader. Ugly Malaysiana thanks you for your feedback.

Trashy "Girl Of The Month"

Trashy cover model, lazy photoshopping, horrid logo. Nice, full, round speakers?

It's the weekend, let's party

IDEAS FOR THE WEEKEND!

Explore the sensual, audible world of Pinoy Lounge Girls playing Tina Turner's Simply The Best. Sexy...

OR

Why not simply go to a shopping mall, kick back, not read, and just rilek beb... Ahhhh.

IDEA NUMBER THREE IS THE MOST HOLISTIC OF ALL.

PAMPER YOURSELF. PUT ON MAKE-UP. TRANSFORM. BE THE FIRST LADY YOU ARE.

UGLY MALAYSIANA WISHES YOU A HAPPY MID-MARCH 2012... 

MAY YR DREAMS ALWAYS KOM TRU.  

DUN 4GET, 1MALAYSIA YO.

Imagine...

Imagine all these billboards disappearing, dissolved into the verdant backdrop, leaving behind a sight not unlike a Singaporean highway vista. No more caucasian models in stock photos probably downloaded from Google Images, not purchased. No more wasting electricity to power the spotlights that will shine on strangely unconscious anti-design typography.

Imagine your drive through Petaling Jaya peaceful for once without such tacky distractions. It wouldn't be the same anymore, as you contemplate the shape of branches on the trees while waiting for the traffic to move, for the red to become green. Traffic jam minutes of contemplating on the nature of fractals in ferns rather than what you would buy at a home fair, or a travel fair, or in a fashion outlet.

We may be more human. Or what about billboards with Yoko Ono-esque messages on them, a hugely worded phrase, or some instructions printed blandly on a solid colour. That might be something nice.

Terrible low cost flat life in SS13 Subang Jaya

 Shady silhouettes against a vanilla sky, swaying gently in the cool evening breeze.

What's not to love?

MAYBE THE SIGHT AT THE FOOT OF THESE TREES 

i.e. THE SIGHT BELOW

IS WHAT YOU WOULD NOT LOVE:

 

Piles upon piles of trash, compressed over time, a habitat for rats as big as kittens — animals who do not fear the lazy cats of SS13, and who feed on toxic waste, including the rubber/plastic tubing in cars. Yuck...

  The stench of SS13 pasar malam leftovers (fishy smells, decaying fruits, etc). Plus rubbish flung randomly by the residents of the flats (many of whom are immigrants, their post-factory lives condensed into a 500 sq ft unit with about five others).

 Up close, the presence of loan sharks still very much intact. 

UGLY MALAYSIANA is disgusted that there are people in Subang Jaya (including UGLY MALAYSIANA'S VERY OWN PARENTS) and many other LOW COST FLATS living with such poor conditions. Poor hygiene, poor fumes, poor sight for our already sore eyes. Poor poor people! 

U.M. urges the city councils to do something about this mess. Tar up the horrible dirt roads that trap water and form toxic murky puddles that breed bacteria and flies. Even stray cats deserve cleaner water to drink from. Have a better trash-collecting system. Things can be low cost but decently done, not in this state of disregard.

Just because the SS13 flats are unoccupied by datins and important people who have power to raise issues does not mean that the current population of SS13 (and other low cost flat areas) have to suffer such appalling states of being. It is 2012 and it still looks like a war zone, tainted by neglect. 1Malaysia, where r u? This looks like the side of Malaysia that is tucked away because it is too ugly. It's hidden and rotting away, rotting the spirits of those who live there.

Dear Mr. Prime Minister, you spend RM80 million on a birthday bash. What about spending just a fraction of that to improve the daily sights (and therefore lives) of the tens of thousands of poor Malaysians affected by this malaise?

Tea Time Comparison

Comparison of biscuit carton designs 

between

ASTANA DELIGHTS 

(OFF JALAN KAMPUNG ATAP, KUALA LUMPUR) 

and 

CRABTREE & EVELYN 

(SOMEWHERE IN THE UK).

Need I point out which is on the left and which is on the right?

Blood-shot Snow White

SPOTTED IN PLAZA DAMAS, SRI HARTAMAS. A CARPET SHOP, 

SELLING RATHER MACABRE FLOOR MATS, SUCH AS THIS ONE.

EYES BLOODY, LIPS RATHER STAINED BLOOD-RED TOO, SNOW WHITE GIVES THE PRINCE A BEGUILING BUT BONE CHILLING STARE BEFORE THE PERFECT KISS THAT ENDS EVERYTHING.

Pasar Pagi Fashion Wisdom

 SPOTTED: TEEN WISDOM IN A MARKET IN RAWANG.

 

PRETTY GIRLS LIKE THE DELICIOUS APPLE

 I AM THE REASON WHY BOYS GO WILD

LIFE IS EASY WHEN YOURE GOOD LOOKING LIKE ME

Luxury property next to a fake blue river from Mayland Properties

Ah, an artist's rendering of a luxury condo, from an aerial vantage point.

May we recommend that you ignore the Purple Times New Roman and focus on the lovely blue-tinted river winding gently through the landscape.

A clean river as blue as the waters of Cherating in the middle of Kuala Lumpur? 

Of course it is an impossibility! It is doctored: notice how the river becomes a turdy brown on the left... and the unnatural blueness on the right, only cut off by the amount of trees (too hard to Photoshop beb)...

 

 In reality, rivers are never as azure blue... even if there are no clouds in the sky... thankfully so. A teh tarik colour, perhaps. Without rubbish please — that's all we ask for... 

Portrait of the author of U.M.

A self portrait of the author of UGLY MALAYSIANA, 

taken in his humble little car... innocent and sweet as ever...

SMS style

aku ni mat motor..

simple2 je...slalu racing kat higway kesas klu nampak tol benti jap kencing...klu minah tol chantek ak ngurat.kalu ada mamat cute jambu encem aku ngurat gak hahahaha ..suruh top up minyak...ak suka berkawan...dan ak ramai kawan.. klu ok aku fuck.. berkawan biar beribu berkasih biar ramai setia pada yg satu.

nak suruh aku dtg tempat korang kasi aku duit minyak........

aku suke berkawan,berkawan buat aku rasa x bosan.......
bila malam menjelma aku menjadi pemangsa yg mencari mangsa.....

aku paling benci org yg belagak bagus dan sombong................rasa nak je aku langar gan moto aku sampai mampus.....x pun aku hentak2 kepala dia gan helmet aku..........

* * *

UGLY MALAYSIANA COMMENT

The above passage was found on a friend-finder website, written by a lean tone gentleman in his early 20s who enjoys posing next to his Modenas scooter bearing a license plate that begins with a "B".

This form of "SMS style" Malay is unfortunately widely used online on forums and blogs. Short forms and symbols (x for "tak") are increasingly replacing full words — a very speedy and economical typing method for mobile phone messaging but it is never a proud moment when I see it used in more serious paragraphs of text, for example, in political blog comments, or in the 'About Me' sections of friend-finder websites.

This form of writing also makes passages such as the above quite illegible to Malaysians who are not eloquent or well versed in Malay, especially so with its colloquial, spoken word form. Many Ah Lians or Ah Bengs will find it hard to grasp the essence of the Mat Motor's self introduction as they never really have had much exposure to Malay television dramas.

Therefore, a translation is provided below.

 

TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH

It's quite simple… 

I am always racing along the KESAS highway. If I see a toll booth, I will stop to urinate briefly. If a toll booth girl is cute, I'll flirt. If there's a young virginal handsome guy, I'll also flirt, haha.

I'll ask them to top up my fuel. 

I love to make friends. And I have a lot of friends. I'm OK with fucking… Let there be thousands of friends, and a lot of loving, but let me be faithful to only one person. 

If you want me to come to your place, compensate me with some fuel money.

   
I love to make friends. It relieves my boredom. When nighttime arises, I will be the prey that is looking for prey.

I most hate those who are arrogant. I feel like I want to crash into them with my motorcycle until they die. If not, I will also like to use my helmet to bash their heads. THE END

Happy Valentines Day

IN MYDIN, EACH DAY IS VALENTINES DAY....